It's official

So here it is. A five week old speck. Already pretty photogenic, eh? I will put up more pictures as the little tyke(s) get older.

Let the research begin

Although I swore to myself I wouldn't go crazy looking at pregnancy books and overstuffing my brain with info that I may already know, I can't help wanting to read more about pregnancy! I mean I'm in it, right? So I may as well get all the way in. I have to be sure everything is normal right? And if it's not normal, I should at least know that someone else has dealt with it, right?

I knew it would happen. I'm obsessed with my brand new pregnancy. I've been fighting myself so as not to buy another pregnancy test just to be really sure. You'd think I would just trust the nausea and body changes.

So I bought a few more books. I'm kind of avoiding the What to Expect When You're Expecting book, because I think I'm getting that info from the other books.

I prefer the ones that are a little more unconventional, ones that don't concentrate on anything turning pink. Or ones that don't necessarily focus on the regular family thought process. We are artists, after all. We are hoping for a drummer.

I'm trying to expose the embryo to as much music and dance as possible. I want to start now so the music is in his/her bones.

Anyway, I should finish my dinner.

One thing I realized...even though I am always exhausted, if there is a show, I can get my energy right up. A lot of people know I'm pregnant now. I'm a little concerned I am letting people know too early. I hope everything stays cool and that those lines on those pregnancy tests are accurate.

One thing is for sure, Monkey will not leave me alone for a minute. She's my guardian kitty.

Aram is a wonderful guy...but it must be hard to have to be nice to someone all the time. All the pregnancy sites try to stress to expectant fathers that their babies' mothers are going through a lot of things they can't control. I know I've been really spacey and tired and unable to focus or control anything. I feel like a giant, event though my clothes are actually looser. If anyone can call Aram and give him a little encouragement to cheer him up while I'm going crazy, please do it. He needs it.

Anyway, I have to sleep again. And drink more water. And probably let go of some water too.

Well I had a very uneventful time at the hospital yesterday. They made me fill out a bunch of papers, pee in a cup, drink some noxious orange stuff and give a lot of blood. I guess a positive pregnancy test means I'm pregnant and that's that. I just have to keep it. More sleep would be nice too.

Ah well...they say I have an ultrasound waiting for me next week to find out exactly how old this baby is. I want some news!

By the way, this is what I had to type in to Google to get a decent site:

african-american pregnancy -poverty -teen -risk -abortion -teenage -violence

What universe am I bringing this baby into?

So tomorrow I go to the doctor to see if that faint pink line means what they say it means. Hopefully it does, because the severe fatigue has not let up one bit.

I've been taking afternoon naps for lunch to try to keep up at work. Today, however I actually ate first so was unable to sleep at all. The result: a very, very dragged out Dunia.

I have determined that a minimum of ten hours of sleep nightly is required to keep me chipper throughout the day. (And perhaps the 1/2 hour lunch break nap as well.) The little guy/gal is taking up a lot of my regular energy.

Although I have been warned against stating this in public by my new favorite book, I am amazed at my lack of nausea. I may be eating those words and throwing them back up later, but for now, I am thanking my lucky stars that I have had such violent PMS. Apparently all the sickness is related to insane amounts of progesterone in the system. And I'm already used to it!

I'm sure I will be the size of a house by the time this person is ready to be in the world as retribution. Not that I am eating all that more or differently, but none of the water I'm drinking (about a gallon a day) is coming out. It is taking up residence in my breasts. I'm not at all amused.

One thing Aram wanted me to bring up...everyone reading this should Google "black women pregnancy" or "african american pregnancy".

What I expected to find was some cheesy but helpful sites for us ladies of African descent who have gotten ourselves with child. What I found was horrendous stories, myths and statistics about black death, drug use and teen pregnancy. The one site I found of any relevance, www.ethnicbaby.org, hadn't been updated in years. This bums me out severely. I was looking for symptoms that pertain to me. I seriously doubt I'll be seeing any veins in my skin at all during this pregnancy. And I'm most certainly sure nothing will become a rosy pink color (not on the outside anyway). If anyone knows of a good site for pregnant women of every ethnicity, please pass it on.

Anyway, I am officially pooped and I want to catch up on more of the "Girlfriend's Guide" before I pass out.

Wish me luck tomorrow!

Okay,

Aram helped me finally put this up.
Thanks Aram.

So a few days ago I took 4 pregnancy tests and they all came out positive, explaining why I've been feeling queasy and weird for the past few weeks. The real weirdness has finally begun to kick in, which is why I'm writing at 11:30 on a school night rather than getting a much needed good night's sleep.

The cats clearly notice something is up. Monkey would not leave me alone until she could curl up on the couch with me. BigHead keeps giving me warm loving looks and cuddly hugs. Not that the cats are not usually sweet and adoring, but they're caring for me like grandmothers and it's a little crazy.

I am completely nervous about all these physical changes. For one thing, I am gaining more padding on my middle and less on my backside, making me feel like one of the booby dolls Cher's character made in Witches of Eastwick. Also, I feel tired all day and have felt pretty energetic all night. Not good for holding down the day job.

On Thursday I go to the doctor to officially start the pre-natal care portion. I will get poked, prodded and tested for various things and asked embarrassing questions. If I was ever shy about my sex life, I can no longer be so. It's everyone's business once you get pregnant, apparently.

I'm reading a great book called "Girlfriend's Guide to Pregnancy". It's all the stuff you don't learn in medical books about all the stuff they should teach.

They say the throwing up is bad. I haven't had the throw-up yet, but the whole mood thing and general physical discomfort is really killing me. I feel so on edge, like something is going to break me. I feel like I've had caffeine and sugar and I'm wired to the teeth. And I'm hungry!

This kid better be a genius.